Sleep Paralysis

Sleep paralysis, I cannot move

Stuck in analysis, to fight or remain calm

My mind is alarmed, it’s wide awake while my body is asleep

Hearing footsteps around me, getting closer to my body

I cannot move, the paralysis I cannot remove

Dark shadows surround me, and I cannot move

To enjoy the experience or cry in terror, I cannot choose

“Snap out of it, it’s just a dream!”, or is it?

A horrific alignment, when my mind and body cannot come to an agreement

It feels like they get a signal, the demons

They say “it’s all in your head”, but I know what I was feeling

Dating


We match, we talk a little smack and then exchange numbers

You tell me about yourself, your mother and your brother

You say cute shit and it makes me wonder

Are you a true lover? Or you just want get under?

Text me consistently for two days

It goes from “can I get to know you?” to “yo ma let me get a pic of that ass”

Well damn, that was fast

At least it took you a little longer than the last dude to ask

You’ll promise me that you won’t ghost

Then one day you just wake up possessed by a different host

I’m sorry, if I gave you the impression that I was a hoe

Then you get upset because what you say doesn’t always go

I wanted something real

All you care about is how I look in heels

It took me a long time to heal

So, you think my energy I’ll let you steal?

You fool, you might be a fine fool, but I don’t want you if you don’t have the right tools

It’s not that you only want sex

It’s that you lie about what you say

I get it, a lot of men can’t communicate

So, they often don’t comprehend

They want bomb ass head, but can’t even understand what is in their own head

Intertwine Energy


Delicate heart, concrete mind
Soul and mind finally bind
They become one and they intertwined
It’s a massive power when they’re both combined
Elegant presence, neat alter ego
The feeling is so powerful, I can’t let go
When it’s time to be completely awakened, I’ll know, I’ll feel it in my bones
The bad energy dispersed, the good energy cloned
The energy scanning through my veins
I feel it healing every single day
The unknown pain that made me moan is gone and I remained strong
I corrected myself when wrong
It’s probably written in stone
Many times I’ll fall, but each time I’ll make it back up and go back on my throne

Endlessly

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I keep sharing all this unique energy, but they’ve become greedy and they’re not sharing

I’m giving, they’re consuming it, I get nothing in return, it’s not longer a rotation

I’m giving you life, you’re killing me

And if that’s what you want, that’s what you need to chase elsewhere

I’m done with feeling like I always need to win a race, I was never racing with y’all in the first place

Some are trying to compete with each other

I’m trying to compete with myself

And it has been my biggest challenge

I know I have talent, but when I am not balanced, I am severely damaged

To surround myself with people and give them my trust after having my trust broken so many times 

After hearing so many lies, swallowing some many BS lines

Or do I stick to myself because I don’t want to be involved in the noise

It’s a tough choice, sometimes they are the enemy and other times I am a bigger enemy to myself, possibly the worst

I was always worried about them, but now I am putting myself first

Say what you want, my energy is never forced

Sometimes I build this whole fantasy, because it makes me feel closer to sanity

Their actions shouldn’t influence me

I am my worst enemy, I’m also my own damn remedy

Helplessly or heavenly

Someday I’ll get it, I’m fighting myself endlessly 

Incognito

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Your soul has gone incognito because you keep feeding your alter ego

I’m scared to ask for explanations because I can sense a dangerous electricity

You never wanted to be genuine, your moods you wanted to complicate, you never settled with simplicity

You were intertwined with toxicity

I get it, having a polished soul requires a responsibility

You need to work on your productivity, but you can’t because you’re stuck and in love with hostility

Your soul has gone incognito because you keep feeding your alter ego

The only flexibility you have is second guessing your abilities

You’re awake but your soul isn’t participating in any activities

You never awakened your creativity

Your soul went incognito because you became a liability

Letting Go

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Letting go
I don’t know
What it feels like
My feelings I want to release in open mic
Some many feelings bottled up
I have a feeling
In order to let go
My silence I need to break
I need to release all my aches
I won’t flake anymore
I get my pen and my journal, and I sit by the lake
There I sit and I write about all my heartbreaks and all the snakes
I write about the times I haven’t been awake, in a dark state
All the birthday wishes and the birthday cakes
Letting go of all the memories
They’re all I know, but not ones I enjoy
Barely brought me any joy, they would always seem to destroy
Letting go
I don’t know what it feels like
It’s so unlike me to let things go
but my memories dislike me
and they keep striking me
I need to stop them from ripping me and let them go

Paradise

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Peace, serenity

looking out for the enemy

those who can’t agree to disagree

because to them they’re always right

if you don’t agree, they are putting up a fight

like we don’t have freedom of speech

my thoughts differ from yours

my sanity I’m trying to preserve

but sometimes I witness dark discoveries

I struggle to find beauty

I’m drowning in pain

so, I’ve created an illusion

looking for a sacred conclusion

I’m reading vibrations

not everyone wants to go to paradise

but that’s a personal choice

it’s not your choice to make

if you want to go

don’t try to convince others to go

make sure you are eligible to go

Soulful

I appreciate your ancient soul

you’re so soulful

you make me feel so joyful and hopeful

two feelings I thought I would never experience

I admire whoever brought you into existence

I’m so serious about this experience

when I see you, I don’t know how to act

so I act delirious

your eyes are so mysterious

your vibe is an art of brilliance

Spell

You can hurt me

tell me lies

you can bruise me

but you can never hate me

there’s no reason

I treated you right every season

I tamed all your demons

you think I triggered them

truth is I controlled them

once I was gone

they grew

do you not see

I planted your seeds

your focus was elsewhere so you didn’t see

I built it

you killed it

you blamed me, always trying to frame me

but we both know without me

your flames are shame

I tried to help you

you withheld

but somehow never forgot how to yell

you thought you had me under some sort of spell

but little did you know I was the fucking spell

Summer Evenings

SUMMER EVENINGS (3)

Summer evenings
I’m home alone
tears streaming
I think this is how you heal
I need to find a better way to deal
you tell me you love
and treat me like you hate me
abrupt contradictions
inexplicable drunkenness of emotions
summer evenings
everyone is enjoying the beautiful day
while I’m wishing for the day to end
to go to sleep, and not feel, tired of this healing process
the thought of you promising me love
but never allowing me to access your heart
left me in a tempered glass
watching it all, but never feeling touching
never coming close
summer evenings come and go
and I still haven’t learned to let go