Nowhere to run

thumbnail.png

Nowhere to run

There is an external magnet holding me back

I tried connecting with you spiritually

You only wanted me sexually

After you, my heart is protected with rendered walls

It keeps my heart from becoming radiant

It’s stopping my mind from the awakened

Enigmatic secrets that you left

I question them on a daily

And I get no replies

The dosage of you I took is too high

I keep hoping truth would defend me

But sometimes it’s against me

Handmaid

Handmaid.png

I knew one day you would change

But I wasn’t waiting for that day to be today

Can we rearrange for another date?

this feeling I really hate

is it up for debate?

I feel betrayed

it feels like a blade

I slaved for our love

and you’re the one who got paid

never provided your aide

my love was handmade

you wanted a handmaid

the love I provided you erased

Sipping Champagne

Your flattery makes me feel vain

after I stop smiling, I still feel the same pain

that’s why I sit here and enjoy this champagne

I’m getting tipsy, I feel it in my veins

sober soul, drunken pain, I’m not really sure what emotion to process through my brain

I feel an electric wave go down my spine

one more sip, there was one, now I see two lines

now I see right through your lies

it’s funny how time flies, for a long time you lied while you stared into my eyes

I should get a dummy prize because I never realized

I was so unwise, you knew that and you still hypnotized me

your vibe I had already memorized

it was too late, I was mesmerized

sipping this champagne, thinking about all that pain, what a drain

my sight is full of color but when I think about you it goes plain

Demolished

F44D9DD8-C342-4032-8B14-6C8DC9E930D1

Wait stop

why are you hurting me nonstop? 

late at night I’ve been feeling bitter

I’m trying to quit but I keep checking your twitter

I’m looking for signs

but I only find litter

I brought it up and what I got back from you was astonishment 

I kid you not this feels like a punishment

I’ve been as naive as a young infant

it fucks up my instincts

you’d promise you’d stay and you vanished

the worse part is that you left a damage

I don’t know how to manage

I’m getting hit by sadness

the air you left feels satanic

Catastrophe

look-to-the-stars.pngHe was never in that much pain
but she catastrophized her symptoms to make him stay
she made him think she would feel betrayed
she got tired of being slayed
she decided she would become the slayer
the roles switched and now she was the player
his time she wanted to waste
his actions she wanted to copy and paste
so he could feel
what it feels
the real tears
the feeling of not knowing how to deal
how long it takes to heal
the feeling is so unreal
it can have you missing meals
he used to call her dramatic
what a tragic
instead of making love to her, he made her panic
it was never climatic
never fantastic
never no magic
her feelings to him were always a catastrophe
and now he’s in a lonely phase
now he sits in agony

Summer Evenings

SUMMER EVENINGS (3)

Summer evenings
I’m home alone
tears streaming
I think this is how you heal
I need to find a better way to deal
you tell me you love
and treat me like you hate me
abrupt contradictions
inexplicable drunkenness of emotions
summer evenings
everyone is enjoying the beautiful day
while I’m wishing for the day to end
to go to sleep, and not feel, tired of this healing process
the thought of you promising me love
but never allowing me to access your heart
left me in a tempered glass
watching it all, but never feeling touching
never coming close
summer evenings come and go
and I still haven’t learned to let go