Sleep Paralysis

Sleep paralysis, I cannot move

Stuck in analysis, to fight or remain calm

My mind is alarmed, it’s wide awake while my body is asleep

Hearing footsteps around me, getting closer to my body

I cannot move, the paralysis I cannot remove

Dark shadows surround me, and I cannot move

To enjoy the experience or cry in terror, I cannot choose

“Snap out of it, it’s just a dream!”, or is it?

A horrific alignment, when my mind and body cannot come to an agreement

It feels like they get a signal, the demons

They say “it’s all in your head”, but I know what I was feeling


Slipping, sipping, flipping out

Sitting, weeping, almost quitting

At that moment it felt like I was never winning

Admitting to my pain, committing to heal

Transmitting bad energy to those who didn’t deserve it

Chilling, willing, forbidding bad energy to enter my system

Splitting my good energy from my bad energy, the bad energy was so thrilling

My thoughts spinning, as I was missing my peace of mind

Digging deep into my thoughts to find happiness

Tricking my body so it thinks I’m alright

My pain triggering bad thoughts

Almost drowning, swimming until I feel like I’m completely living

Fix me

Hold my hands, I’ve been hurt

With you I try to flirt

But it just brings up past experiences, just a whole bunch of dirt

It makes me think about all the times they tried to get under my skirt

But that’s not the worst part, my patience is running short

All I ever wanted was love, but all they did was play with my heart

And even like that I never gave up, torn but hoping for a new start

Love me entirely, part by part, admire my beauty like fine art

Hold my hands, I need your support

I’m an introvert, because I always get hurt…

They promise to love me and then fall short

I’m counting on you as my last resort

Intertwine Energy

Delicate heart, concrete mind
Soul and mind finally bind
They become one and they intertwined
It’s a massive power when they’re both combined
Elegant presence, neat alter ego
The feeling is so powerful, I can’t let go
When it’s time to be completely awakened, I’ll know, I’ll feel it in my bones
The bad energy dispersed, the good energy cloned
The energy scanning through my veins
I feel it healing every single day
The unknown pain that made me moan is gone and I remained strong
I corrected myself when wrong
It’s probably written in stone
Many times I’ll fall, but each time I’ll make it back up and go back on my throne



I keep sharing all this unique energy, but they’ve become greedy and they’re not sharing

I’m giving, they’re consuming it, I get nothing in return, it’s not longer a rotation

I’m giving you life, you’re killing me

And if that’s what you want, that’s what you need to chase elsewhere

I’m done with feeling like I always need to win a race, I was never racing with y’all in the first place

Some are trying to compete with each other

I’m trying to compete with myself

And it has been my biggest challenge

I know I have talent, but when I am not balanced, I am severely damaged

To surround myself with people and give them my trust after having my trust broken so many times 

After hearing so many lies, swallowing some many BS lines

Or do I stick to myself because I don’t want to be involved in the noise

It’s a tough choice, sometimes they are the enemy and other times I am a bigger enemy to myself, possibly the worst

I was always worried about them, but now I am putting myself first

Say what you want, my energy is never forced

Sometimes I build this whole fantasy, because it makes me feel closer to sanity

Their actions shouldn’t influence me

I am my worst enemy, I’m also my own damn remedy

Helplessly or heavenly

Someday I’ll get it, I’m fighting myself endlessly 

I don’t know what to say


Late night spring

I let the phone ring and ring

I wasn’t in the mood to speak, but I had no voice anyway

I pretend that I’m present but my mind is very far away

Trying to walk in straight lines, but I keep tripping

I’m hiding, they’re worried


I let the phone ring and ring

Because I don’t know what to say

That I’ve had better days? 

That I’ve been feeling betrayed? 

I can’t explain it, because I don’t even know myself 

I’ve been trying to just go with the flow

The flow is catching speed and I still haven’t caught up

I’m still caged up in a certain mentality

I’m fighting to keep up with my reality 


Rearranging my moves 

Perfecting my thoughts 

Getting rid of old scraps

I’m working and crying

I’m laughing and trying

I hustle and I crumble


I’m human with a mind out of this world

Who was slowly losing her heart to a nature of cold

The phone rings and rings and I let it ring because I haven’t yet discovered myself and I don’t know what to say

Break the cycle


Finding a path is extremely hard when you keep going in circles

How do you choose a side when you’re stuck in a cycle? 

What do I do with old thoughts? 

Do they just get recycled? 

This is a test and the only option is survival 

I am my own tragic and also my own idol

Trying to reach a new title

To be a leader or to be a disciple

To be free willed or to follow a bible

The thoughts spiral and I’m stuck in a cycle 

My soul was suicidal, I was stuck in denial 

Tied up in spiteful energy, I need a revival

My energy transforms and it goes viral

Reflection before Infection

Reflection before infection.png

My mind is brightened

And then it gets darkened by an invasion

All these random thoughts came without an invitation, they called themselves depression

They begin to move my energy in a different direction

Completely ignoring my suggestions

Then it begins to enjoy the rejections, all the aggression

I start obsessing on my imperfections

Completely ignoring my precious connection to my state of mind to Heaven

What once was special it’s now a deception

My mind is in a deep detention concentration

It’s a challenge to hunt for the corrections

It takes a huge amount of attention on reflection

You must put your faith in your protection

You must make corrections and travel to the next dimension

Before it becomes a weapon and spreads like an infection

Subliminal Messages


You’re no longer putting in the effort

It’s not the same anymore, it was better

You say you still love me but show up with all your subliminal messages

You say we’re connecting spiritually and mentally, we both know this is only physical

You look at me and smile but the vibes you’re sending out almost feel cynical

It’s subliminal but not invisible

It’s almost hypocritical

You say one thing, you do the opposite, so typical

You say you still love me but hit me with subliminal messages

Paint me an illusion and it’s supposed to be impressive

You sit there in silence while you’re planning how to be aggressive

Passive aggressive

Massive depressive

Attractive but obsessive

You think you can lie because I won’t catch your subliminal messages

But I’m wide awake

I’m catching all your messages



It’s a matter of perspective

if you don’t agree you can at least respect it

that doesn’t mean you have to accept it

it doesn’t even have to affect you 

Some people say cruel words and then they regret it

their pride wont let them apologize, so they forget it

then they get upset when you protest it

It’s a matter of mindset

How happy are you and how depressed

how often do you get upset

We want to believe but we always suspect

Are you taking care of yourself or do you appear unkempt

Can you always blame us? we have promises unkept

It’s a matter of perspective

If you don’t agree you can at least respect it

that doesn’t mean you have to accept it