Your consent

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I want to touch you but I need your consent

With me you can vent, you shared your ideas and I knew what you meant

The context you provided was enough, it made me content

Your personality is so sweet and so is your scent

You are perfect, all the way from your vibe to your accent

Your sweet aura I can accept 

I’m not going to pretend, your soul I respect

Your mindset I comprehend

This feels right, this is correct

I want to love you but I need your consent

Nowhere to run

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Nowhere to run

There is an external magnet holding me back

I tried connecting with you spiritually

You only wanted me sexually

After you, my heart is protected with rendered walls

It keeps my heart from becoming radiant

It’s stopping my mind from the awakened

Enigmatic secrets that you left

I question them on a daily

And I get no replies

The dosage of you I took is too high

I keep hoping truth would defend me

But sometimes it’s against me

Escape

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Lately, I’ve been trying to escape

Everyday I thought about running away

Get lost in a parade, all I do is complain

I was going to suffocate, all those feelings you evacuated 

Each day you create new ideas for me to love, ones I embrace

My mind was full of mistakes, I was so afraid

New memories you create, ones I won’t debate 

You helped my mind stay in shape

You’re a hero without a cape

I was asleep and now I’m awake

I wanted to escape but because of you I’ll stay 

Calm Atmosphere

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I’ve learned how to sink into calmness

Beyond the dark atmosphere

I’m enjoying the calm air, the calm energy

Sitting in a pose, palms facing up

The soft, perfect silence

Sweat pants, messy hair, and some lip balm

Music playing, high in thoughts, high in energy

I’m feeling calm

My concentration heightened, my sadness slowly dying

The world was still spinning, but at a comfortable speed

I’ve learned how to properly plant my seeds

But I had to be soaked in chaos first

When darkness attacks me, I shut it down with a harmonious wave

Baby Steps

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It’s never personal

It’s just complex

Your complexion is irresistible

But I must behave

Slowly graduating but proceeding in baby steps

I want to intertwine spirits but I still haven’t murdered my insecurities

I’ve executed an illustrious plan to feel like a beauty goddess

I love your face but this is more than just appearance

A-Z

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(A) very sad story

(B)ecause you left me alone

(C)an’t explain it myself

(D)id you choose to do this?

(E)ventually you’ll notice the damage you caused

(F)rankly, you never gave a fuck to apologize

(G)lorious Angels would fall from the sky

(H)ow come it’s so hard for you to apologize?

(I) thought you were such a genuine soul

(J)ustice I deserve

(K)nowing I loved you, you still hurt me

(L)oving me was never a choice

(M)ade me look and feel so foolish

(N)ot caring about the thoughts in my head

(O)f course it taught me a lesson

(P)robably from so much pain

(Q)uestions arise in my head each day

(R)easons really hard to explain

(S)ad songs playing in the radio

(T)omorrow is a new day

(U)nclear about when the pain will faint

(V)isions are now changed

(W)ithout you I’ll get ahead

(X)enophobia is what you felt

(Y)ou were never worth my time

(Z)ap! just like that my energy has changed

Rebel

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You’re now aware that you no longer chain me

You’re upset that you no longer get to control my gains

And now you claim that I’m a rebel

When really, I’m just on a different level

You’re stuck behind and I’m trying to win the life medal

You’re going around telling everyone I’m a rebel

Because I refuse to resemble your unconditional negative vibe

Which most times it’s hard to describe because it’s not a genuine vibe

But I’m a rebel because I don’t want to play with the devil

Perspective

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It’s a matter of perspective

if you don’t agree you can at least respect it

that doesn’t mean you have to accept it

it doesn’t even have to affect you 

Some people say cruel words and then they regret it

their pride wont let them apologize, so they forget it

then they get upset when you protest it

It’s a matter of mindset

How happy are you and how depressed

how often do you get upset

We want to believe but we always suspect

Are you taking care of yourself or do you appear unkempt

Can you always blame us? we have promises unkept

It’s a matter of perspective

If you don’t agree you can at least respect it

that doesn’t mean you have to accept it

Perception

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A sustainable illusion 

one with a better conclusion

one where your touch feels like magic

instead of problematic

Your touch electrifies my essence

it felt more like a blessing than a lesson

in my illusion of us, I deeply enjoyed your presence 

you never had me guessing

I’m ready for another session

You rub my head and clear all my tensions

You gave me attention and affection

no exceptions 

it was all perfection

had a rude awakening

when I realized it was a dream of my reflection

it wasn’t real, just my perception

Eternal

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I’m not sure if you’ll love me eternal but please love me internal

Love me in the light and love me nocturnal

I need straight lines, please don’t make me go in circles

Whether you accept or deny this love referral, please be straight up, be verbal

Love me in the shadows and love me universal

Love me in Heaven and love me infernal

Tell me how you feel so I can write it in my journal

I’m not sure if you’ll love me eternal, but please love me internal and love me external