Tag: poems

I don’t know what to say

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Late night spring

I let the phone ring and ring

I wasn’t in the mood to speak, but I had no voice anyway

I pretend that I’m present but my mind is very far away

Trying to walk in straight lines, but I keep tripping

I’m hiding, they’re worried

 

I let the phone ring and ring

Because I don’t know what to say

That I’ve had better days? 

That I’ve been feeling betrayed? 

I can’t explain it, because I don’t even know myself 

I’ve been trying to just go with the flow

The flow is catching speed and I still haven’t caught up

I’m still caged up in a certain mentality

I’m fighting to keep up with my reality 

 

Rearranging my moves 

Perfecting my thoughts 

Getting rid of old scraps

I’m working and crying

I’m laughing and trying

I hustle and I crumble

 

I’m human with a mind out of this world

Who was slowly losing her heart to a nature of cold

The phone rings and rings and I let it ring because I haven’t yet discovered myself and I don’t know what to say

Shifted Energy

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An aura of serenity touches my soul

An elegant breeze, there’s calmness tonight

The noise around me gets destroyed as I enter a calm dimension

Clearing my mind is the only way to grasp attention

It’s the only way I get to explore my expressions

There is chemistry between the calmness of my soul and I

A love so endlessly

My world can collapse but it all begins mentally

When the thoughts attack, serenity is the remedy

Times where the air feels dreadfully a shift of energy will make my mind feel heavenly

Extraordinary calmness, no tormented waves

My mind gets chaotic only when I allow it

In times of devilry I turn to clarity, it keeps the flow steadily

Not yet forgiven

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They say even though you hurt me

I must forgive you

I won’t be able to move on until all is forgiven

I try to erase some memories and I get hit with a wave of vivid visions, I get livid

My mind I try to calm, but it becomes stiffened, thickened with unpleasant memories

This is what you do to me because you never listened

In addition, you murdered my ambitions, I was once so driven

But you had me imprisoned

I wanted an admission in love

You wanted other women involved

This is not what I envisioned

I don’t need to ask you for permission, I’m in a messed up position

Now I’m supposed to forgive you like magic, I’m not a magician

One magic trick and it’s all forgiven

It’s not that easy

This is a lot of repairing, I’m not a technician

There is a lot of debating, I’m not a politician

I’ve removed you from life, you’re an excision

As to when I’ll forgive you, that date is unwritten

Nympho

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I crave you like a nympho craves sex

you go deeper into my heart

I have swallowed my words

you sink harder into my mind

I ride quietly in your car

you grab my hair and pull me towards you

you stare at my eyes and lean in for a kiss

I’m choked from feelings I haven’t expressed

I crave you like a nympho craves sex

it’s hard to explain, it’s complex

I came out of a dark state

you pulled out that blade

I wasn’t afraid

Freedom

Hurt inside

smiling outwardly

my anxiety takes me by surprise

I get shooked and it makes me feel cowardly

I leave my house early

to avoid having to feel awkwardly

I’m fucked up

I’m messed up

sometimes it makes it hard to keep up

it goes smooth for a few days and then I fuck up

I fall down and I force myself to get up

I go to the mirror and whisper “never give up”

never give in to your demons

they’ll leave you with lesions

but never give your Angels so much power you become powerless

where you become blinded and your world is colorless

it’s a balance

a map of guidance

we need to feed both sides

or one side will empower us

Sipping Champagne

Your flattery makes me feel vain

after I stop smiling, I still feel the same pain

that’s why I sit here and enjoy this champagne

I’m getting tipsy, I feel it in my veins

sober soul, drunken pain, I’m not really sure what emotion to process through my brain

I feel an electric wave go down my spine

one more sip, there was one, now I see two lines

now I see right through your lies

it’s funny how time flies, for a long time you lied while you stared into my eyes

I should get a dummy prize because I never realized

I was so unwise, you knew that and you still hypnotized me

your vibe I had already memorized

it was too late, I was mesmerized

sipping this champagne, thinking about all that pain, what a drain

my sight is full of color but when I think about you it goes plain

Demolished

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Wait stop

why are you hurting me nonstop? 

late at night I’ve been feeling bitter

I’m trying to quit but I keep checking your twitter

I’m looking for signs

but I only find litter

I brought it up and what I got back from you was astonishment 

I kid you not this feels like a punishment

I’ve been as naive as a young infant

it fucks up my instincts

you’d promise you’d stay and you vanished

the worse part is that you left a damage

I don’t know how to manage

I’m getting hit by sadness

the air you left feels satanic