Nympho

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I crave you like a nympho craves sex

you go deeper into my heart

I have swallowed my words

you sink harder into my mind

I ride quietly in your car

you grab my hair and pull me towards you

you stare at my eyes and lean in for a kiss

I’m choked from feelings I haven’t expressed

I crave you like a nympho craves sex

it’s hard to explain, it’s complex

I came out of a dark state

you pulled out that blade

I wasn’t afraid

Freedom

Hurt inside

smiling outwardly

my anxiety takes me by surprise

I get shooked and it makes me feel cowardly

I leave my house early

to avoid having to feel awkwardly

I’m fucked up

I’m messed up

sometimes it makes it hard to keep up

it goes smooth for a few days and then I fuck up

I fall down and I force myself to get up

I go to the mirror and whisper “never give up”

never give in to your demons

they’ll leave you with lesions

but never give your Angels so much power you become powerless

where you become blinded and your world is colorless

it’s a balance

a map of guidance

we need to feed both sides

or one side will empower us

Sipping Champagne

Your flattery makes me feel vain

after I stop smiling, I still feel the same pain

that’s why I sit here and enjoy this champagne

I’m getting tipsy, I feel it in my veins

sober soul, drunken pain, I’m not really sure what emotion to process through my brain

I feel an electric wave go down my spine

one more sip, there was one, now I see two lines

now I see right through your lies

it’s funny how time flies, for a long time you lied while you stared into my eyes

I should get a dummy prize because I never realized

I was so unwise, you knew that and you still hypnotized me

your vibe I had already memorized

it was too late, I was mesmerized

sipping this champagne, thinking about all that pain, what a drain

my sight is full of color but when I think about you it goes plain

Demolished

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Wait stop

why are you hurting me nonstop? 

late at night I’ve been feeling bitter

I’m trying to quit but I keep checking your twitter

I’m looking for signs

but I only find litter

I brought it up and what I got back from you was astonishment 

I kid you not this feels like a punishment

I’ve been as naive as a young infant

it fucks up my instincts

you’d promise you’d stay and you vanished

the worse part is that you left a damage

I don’t know how to manage

I’m getting hit by sadness

the air you left feels satanic

Converted Energy

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It took me a while to open up

it took me a while to find my voice

that’s why I feel so offended when people try to silence me, my mind you’ll never shut

I’m observing, I’m learning, & I’m speaking up

I’m standing up for what’s right and I’m never giving up

I’ll never again be silenced

it took me a long time to find my balance

it took me a while to repair the confidence that was once wrecked by injured souls

i’m no longer interested in secretly hurting

it’s the pain that gets you through

brave is not one who hides, brave is one who fights

I’ve been hurt many times, but getting through is what makes me grow

I took in a lot of bad energy and now I’m about to release a converted energy

I took it in negatively, consumed it, and spit it out positively

Letting Go

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Letting go
I don’t know
What it feels like
My feelings I want to release in open mic
Some many feelings bottled up
I have a feeling
In order to let go
My silence I need to break
I need to release all my aches
I won’t flake anymore
I get my pen and my journal, and I sit by the lake
There I sit and I write about all my heartbreaks and all the snakes
I write about the times I haven’t been awake, in a dark state
All the birthday wishes and the birthday cakes
Letting go of all the memories
They’re all I know, but not ones I enjoy
Barely brought me any joy, they would always seem to destroy
Letting go
I don’t know what it feels like
It’s so unlike me to let things go
but my memories dislike me
and they keep striking me
I need to stop them from ripping me and let them go

Paradise

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Peace, serenity

looking out for the enemy

those who can’t agree to disagree

because to them they’re always right

if you don’t agree, they are putting up a fight

like we don’t have freedom of speech

my thoughts differ from yours

my sanity I’m trying to preserve

but sometimes I witness dark discoveries

I struggle to find beauty

I’m drowning in pain

so, I’ve created an illusion

looking for a sacred conclusion

I’m reading vibrations

not everyone wants to go to paradise

but that’s a personal choice

it’s not your choice to make

if you want to go

don’t try to convince others to go

make sure you are eligible to go

Soulful

I appreciate your ancient soul

you’re so soulful

you make me feel so joyful and hopeful

two feelings I thought I would never experience

I admire whoever brought you into existence

I’m so serious about this experience

when I see you, I don’t know how to act

so I act delirious

your eyes are so mysterious

your vibe is an art of brilliance

Catastrophe

look-to-the-stars.pngHe was never in that much pain
but she catastrophized her symptoms to make him stay
she made him think she would feel betrayed
she got tired of being slayed
she decided she would become the slayer
the roles switched and now she was the player
his time she wanted to waste
his actions she wanted to copy and paste
so he could feel
what it feels
the real tears
the feeling of not knowing how to deal
how long it takes to heal
the feeling is so unreal
it can have you missing meals
he used to call her dramatic
what a tragic
instead of making love to her, he made her panic
it was never climatic
never fantastic
never no magic
her feelings to him were always a catastrophe
and now he’s in a lonely phase
now he sits in agony

Terror

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You think your microscopic lies would hurt

I think you lie because it helps you cope

but you’ve been losing hope

I once thought you were dope

but you keep tightening your own rope

all you do is sit there and mope

you act up and blame it on your horoscope

delighted? more like I feel ignited

my peace is about to catch flames

you’re making all these silly claims

I don’t even feel the same

this is what we became

played too many games

living in your dreams felt like an error

I lived in terror