I loved you every second of the day
You only loved me on taco Tuesdays
I carried all our weight, while you were too busy being afraid
You cook her 5 star meals, and I only get pizza
I’m trying to finish the puzzle but I have all the wrong pieces
My love decreases, my anger increases
I gave you all of me and you didn’t even give me half
You asked what’s for dinner, I order myself a burger
You crossed the line, this love you have murdered
You’re gaslighting me
Ever since you began, I’ve been trying to find myself
It’s a little difficult when you keep readjusting my focus
I tried to be happy and you often made me feel broken
I would be happy, and you change my mood like hocus pocus
At times it felt hopeless
I know you have diagnoses, but you deny them
I used to think maybe you were in hypnosis
But you’re just a hostess of an atrocious mind
I think about us getting along every time I’m smoking; I just want us to get along
And my mind is in a dangerous place because when it’s tired of pain it becomes very explosive
I close my eyes and I get flashes
Messed up and happy flashbacks, setbacks
Remembering the times, you used to lash back
My heart feels like it’s soon turning into ashes
Because it felt like I was missing all my chances
Soaked eyelashes, my wounds covered with patches
Fighting strong for your compassion
Saw me crying and never took action, classic
Can’t blame my heart for turning into ashes
I needed your fire, you denied you had matches
Fighting hard for your compassion, almost led me to a casket
Late night spring
I let the phone ring and ring
I wasn’t in the mood to speak, but I had no voice anyway
I pretend that I’m present but my mind is very far away
Trying to walk in straight lines, but I keep tripping
I’m hiding, they’re worried
I let the phone ring and ring
Because I don’t know what to say
That I’ve had better days?
That I’ve been feeling betrayed?
I can’t explain it, because I don’t even know myself
I’ve been trying to just go with the flow
The flow is catching speed and I still haven’t caught up
I’m still caged up in a certain mentality
I’m fighting to keep up with my reality
Rearranging my moves
Perfecting my thoughts
Getting rid of old scraps
I’m working and crying
I’m laughing and trying
I hustle and I crumble
I’m human with a mind out of this world
Who was slowly losing her heart to a nature of cold
The phone rings and rings and I let it ring because I haven’t yet discovered myself and I don’t know what to say
An aura of serenity touches my soul
An elegant breeze, there’s calmness tonight
The noise around me gets destroyed as I enter a calm dimension
Clearing my mind is the only way to grasp attention
It’s the only way I get to explore my expressions
There is chemistry between the calmness of my soul and I
A love so endlessly
My world can collapse but it all begins mentally
When the thoughts attack, serenity is the remedy
Times where the air feels dreadfully a shift of energy will make my mind feel heavenly
Extraordinary calmness, no tormented waves
My mind gets chaotic only when I allow it
In times of devilry I turn to clarity, it keeps the flow steadily
They say even though you hurt me
I must forgive you
I won’t be able to move on until all is forgiven
I try to erase some memories and I get hit with a wave of vivid visions, I get livid
My mind I try to calm, but it becomes stiffened, thickened with unpleasant memories
This is what you do to me because you never listened
In addition, you murdered my ambitions, I was once so driven
But you had me imprisoned
I wanted an admission in love
You wanted other women involved
This is not what I envisioned
I don’t need to ask you for permission, I’m in a messed up position
Now I’m supposed to forgive you like magic, I’m not a magician
One magic trick and it’s all forgiven
It’s not that easy
This is a lot of repairing, I’m not a technician
There is a lot of debating, I’m not a politician
I’ve removed you from life, you’re an excision
As to when I’ll forgive you, that date is unwritten
I crave you like a nympho craves sex
you go deeper into my heart
I have swallowed my words
you sink harder into my mind
I ride quietly in your car
you grab my hair and pull me towards you
you stare at my eyes and lean in for a kiss
I’m choked from feelings I haven’t expressed
I crave you like a nympho craves sex
it’s hard to explain, it’s complex
I came out of a dark state
you pulled out that blade
I wasn’t afraid
