I don’t know what to say

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Late night spring

I let the phone ring and ring

I wasn’t in the mood to speak, but I had no voice anyway

I pretend that I’m present but my mind is very far away

Trying to walk in straight lines, but I keep tripping

I’m hiding, they’re worried

 

I let the phone ring and ring

Because I don’t know what to say

That I’ve had better days? 

That I’ve been feeling betrayed? 

I can’t explain it, because I don’t even know myself 

I’ve been trying to just go with the flow

The flow is catching speed and I still haven’t caught up

I’m still caged up in a certain mentality

I’m fighting to keep up with my reality 

 

Rearranging my moves 

Perfecting my thoughts 

Getting rid of old scraps

I’m working and crying

I’m laughing and trying

I hustle and I crumble

 

I’m human with a mind out of this world

Who was slowly losing her heart to a nature of cold

The phone rings and rings and I let it ring because I haven’t yet discovered myself and I don’t know what to say

Paying the price

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People warned me about you

I ignored them and now I pay the price

I was full of sight, you blinded me 

You were such a bully, you were never nice

You took my heart, into a million pieces it was sliced

I forgave you and you hurt me twice

I was an angel, you took me out of my paradise

My wings for you I sacrificed 

I should’ve listened to their advice

Because now I pay the price

Occupied Mind

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My mind is occupied

I try to relive some memories, but they slowly die

My breath is tied because my mind is not currently wide

I’ve tried, I’ve cried

I’ve experienced both sides

Sometimes I ride, sometimes I slide, sometimes I dive, it doesn’t matter how I get there if my memories are fried

Sometimes I confront it, other times I must hide

I take pride in saying I don’t need to lie to get what I want

Some days I am satisfied of how far I’ve come, other days I am terrified

Glorified, qualified

So many different sides

It’s not about picking a side, I must put the differences aside because all those sides make me who I am

But I’ll excel when my mind and my soul synchronize

Renewed Ending

Renewed Ending

I’ve tried to forget you, but I can’t get you of my head
I thought the memories of you were ending
But they’re still present and alive
It’s been my weakest design
I’m staying up late at night praying for signs
I’ve been thinking so much about you it’s getting out of line
I thought I would be fine
I thought this was the ending
My thoughts of forgetting you, my mind has declined
If I can’t forget you on my own, I’ll need the assistance of wine
Get intoxicated, I try to breathe and feel suffocated
I think of you and I feel devastated
I thought this was the ending of my thoughts of you
But instead it grew, I try to erase them, and they renewed

Choice

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Elegant and suspicious

Rebellious and unable to distinguish reality from dreams

Living in different themes

She supported her own intelligence so much, she ignored suggestions

Her explanations were always sustainable

She was strong but was mechanically giving in to the world around her

She doesn’t fear being alone

She remained persistent in loving herself

Purely organic spiritualism

She wants to be involved in some extraordinary activities

But keeps running into mischievous acts

So she removes herself from all the noise

She hides and silences her voice

It feels like she has no choice

If I was a kid again

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If I was a kid again

I would tell you to treat her different

I don’t like the way you treated her

I advised her to leave you every day

Told her not to worry about me

I was a child back then

But anyone knew, it was easy to see

 

The way you were treating her

I felt like you were beating her

But you weren’t even touching her

Your words were power to her

But always powerless to me

You didn’t tell her you loved her

Never brought her flowers

Rare occasions did I see you speak to her

 

If I was a kid again I would advise you to treat her better

Even though I just wanted you to leave her

So I wouldn’t see her hurt anymore

Over and over I advised her to leave you

But she loved you

She told everyone she was with you because of me

But every night I would tell her she deserved better

And that wasn’t you

I was good, I always knew

She never was and it’s your fault

 

If I was a kid again I would tell you to treat her better

I now pay for the damage you created

The same way you treated her, she now treats me

Rarely do I see her smile

She says she doesn’t love you but I don’t believe her

If I was a kid again I would tell you to treat her better

And maybe she would be happy and be treating me better

And maybe I wouldn’t hate you