Taking notes

I’m taking notes, while my mind flows

I go back and check what I wrote

My words are cold, I get chilly, I put on my coat

I step outside, because I almost cried

My emotions are running wild, the emotional portal is wide

Out of breath like I’m about to die

The world is cold, but it could’ve been a worse ride

My hands are tied, I want to help, but I can’t even help myself

Fought so hard for them, I drained my own energy, I lost the fight, I lost my guide

I’m taking notes, I want to help them, but their selfish ways blocked me, disqualified me

I won’t deny, I used to put them first, now I won’t let it slide

I’m taking notes…

10 Steps ahead

Gentle kisses, ones that I’ll be missing

I just know it won’t last; the mentality is not the same

In the meantime, grip my waist, you’re about to whisper lies in my ears, it’s okay I’ll patiently wait

Grip my hips, before you switch up and dip

Don’t play games with me, I know all your tricks, you won’t stick

I’ve heard them over and over, I’ve seen them over and over, by not just you

You can leave too

I enjoy my solitude, it’s better than putting up with you when you’re being rude

I don’t have time for costume shows

“I’m not the same”, you’re right! You’re worst

I know how to play your game better than you

I’ve been watching, I’ve been taking notes

I know your next verse, so I’m 10 steps ahead of you, hit you in reverse

Sticky tape

Finding ways to escape, my mind is sometimes chaos, why do some people try to bend me out of shape?

Talking so much nonsense, like I’m supposed to be wearing a cape

Expecting more than I can give, you want me to be better, I’m trying to survive

I’m trying to be better than alright

I’m genuinely trying to figure out why some people try to make it so hard

To help you through it, to make it harder, they can’t decide

They won’t comply

It’s alright, I’m fine with my own supplies

I am better without the chaos and the lies

Because they hurt you, then patch it up with sticky tape, drape their wrongs, and call you babe

Happened so often, I don’t feel the pain

I been ran away from the games, when I stop playing, it’s when I gain

Processing it all in my brain

I don’t need the pain

I’m blocking their negative energy again and again

Just a dream

Growing, knowing

There are better solutions, when I proceed them, I’ll start glowing, flowing

But I’ve been stuck in this nightmare for too long

Every time I closed my eyes, the nightmare would stream

They were so bad I would scream

When I’m awake, I’m at peace, but it’s not always what it seems

The nightmares were so vivid, they began to affect my self esteem

Every day I prayed for different mental themes

The pain it was causing was extreme

Supreme sadness, supreme fright

Then I realized they can’t hurt me in real life, it’s just a mental scheme!

Wake the hell up, it’s just a dream!

Mary Jane

Mary Jane, Mary Jane

You take me to nice places; you take away the daily pain that my mind keeps replaying

When I’m with you, they judge

But they judge anyway, so I’ll never leave you

I put my lips on your body, it’s an automatic high

The emotions I couldn’t process before you, I have a better understanding now

I’m focused, I’m humble, I’m calm

Mary Jane, Mary Jane

They don’t want us together because they don’t understand you’re my aide

If I’m not consuming you, I’m consuming pills

Mary Jane, Mary Jane

They don’t want us together

But you help me survive

They don’t want me with you but they’re never around

Aim

You don’t want to explore her mind

Yet you always texted her “when will you be mine?”

“Your body and face look so divine”

Funny how it went from that to straight up lies

Pay attention to my next lines

Oh my God, so many signs

I’m telling you I don’t have the time

Yea you fine, but that isn’t enough to want to make you mine

I enjoyed my wine

More than I enjoyed being with you

I enjoyed my rhymes

More than I enjoyed talking to you

It took me a while to know I’m a dime

You will never stop me, I’ll always climb

I don’t have time for the games

Act up and then switch up the blame

To fake your whole vibe is so lame

Or maybe it’s me, it’s my fucking aim

He just wants one thing

My vibe is so exquisite

He noticed, he is trying to come and visit

But when he comes by he doesn’t even listen

He just wants one thing, at this point my magnificent aura is irrelevant

He is trying to unbalance all of my elements

Doesn’t even hide it, his actions need to have consequences

He wants to receive love but doesn’t want to give it

When you question his actions, his exes he mentions

People get hurt by one person and they pay with everyone they meet after

It’s like they never learn their lessons

Now he walks around with all that tension

He doesn’t know how to love because he can’t even love himself

His past experiences created his insecurities

Now he doesn’t want to love, he just wants one thing

Falls for the wrong ones, gets hurt, doesn’t learn, never heals, never gives the worthy ones their worth