From friends to strangers

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We start talking and we vibe
then suddenly
We become inseparable 
We see each other often
& you start calling me baby
Every morning send me a message
And every night you call me before you go to sleep
Then one day
It stops
The morning messages
Become afternoon messages
The calls become a quick “I was busy” text message
Was it something I said?
Or something I did?
Maybe it has nothing to do with me
Maybe someone came back?
Maybe you’re still hurt
Or maybe we’re not meant to be
Do I let you go because I know I deserve better?
But this is getting old
I’m getting bored
The same questions being asked again
The same guessing games again
The same butterflies who slowly die
Who then leave you with an emptiness
An emptiness that I should of never felt
Now I blame myself
For allowing this
I can’t even blame you for hurting me
Because every time I let my guard down
It’s the same outcome
It’s the same feeling
It’s the same pain
If I stop, how will I ever find what I deserve?
If I stop, i’ll settle
It’s not about the needing
It’s about the wanting
It’s about wanting to vibe out
Wanting to make love
Wanting to grow together
But y’all be on another level

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Emotional Wreck

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Once again I am an emotional wreck,

Once again everything seems wrong,

Once again  I am alone,

And once again, I blame myself

The love I never got, the ears that never listened,

They eyes that only saw wrong,

The minds that only judged,

Somehow it’s not entirely my fault,

But once again I blame myself,

The hugs I never got,

The whispers that I overheard

The stares that would follow,

Somehow it wasn’t entirely my fault,

But then again, I still blamed myself,

Could I have done better?

Could I have reacted differently?

Listened more?

Spoke less?

Done less?

Done more?

Once again I am an emotional wreck,

Once again everything seems wrong,

Once again I am alone,

And once again I blame myself,

Tears are getting old,

My breath is getting short,

My heart is pounding harder,

My mind is blowing up,

My will is going away,

My strength has no power,

Once again I am an emotional wreck,

Once again I don’t know how to fix it,

Where do I start?

And

Where do I finish?

It may not be entirely my fault,

But once again I blamed myself…

Love is what you make it

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Some say love is right

Some say it feels so wrong

Some know how to love

Some be playing love

Some know how it’s done

While others be so lost

Some people see but hush

While others are just too blind

Some people speak their mind

While others act too dumb

Some people fall in love

While others pretend to love

Your Lie

Tell me where I went wrong and I’ll give you the reason

Tell me you never failed and I’ll blame it on myself

Tell me you where perfect and I’ll tell you I messed up 

Now if you tell me you still love me, I’ll tell you it’s a lie 

How many times?

 

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How many times did you fail to love me?

You played me and you lied 

But at the end you never did anything wrong

How many times did I believe you?

Knowing you was doing me wrong

I cried and cried

and at the end I still went back

Now it’s all done, I’m tired of your games

And now I ask myself

How many times have you called begging for me to come back?

You begged and begged

And at the end I told you it was too late.

Way better on my own

Because of you I didn’t know happy
I didn’t know fun and I didn’t know me

Because of you I couldn’t smile nor laugh
But because of you I also realized that,

All those things I couldn’t do were better
than all the things you put me through

All the pain you put me through
all the tears that you withdrew
awakened my soul, they opened my eyes

Now I can smile, now I can laugh
at how stupid I was for crying for you
at how stupid I was for letting you get to me

Now I know happy
now I can eat, now I  can rest

Maybe with time you’ll realize that,
Because of me you was once happy

Because of me you laughed and smiled
I never made you cry & I never made you sad

But now you are miserable because i’m not in your life
But you should of realized it before

Before you hurt me so bad
don’t call me nor text me

because now i’m not with you and thank you for that
Happier than ever, with my biggest smile ever
Thank you for teaching me that I can do better

Drowning

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You’re quick to judge but slow to act
Quick to fall and slow to stand
Quick to nag but you fail to listen
Because it’s all about you and not about others
You have High expectations but you lack in believing
You don’t believe in yourself and expect others to do so
You criticize others but don’t correct yourself
You’re thinking you’re winning but everyone is above you
Because while you think you’re bringing them down

you only brought yourself down
You went to deep to swim and you caught yourself drowning