Letting Go

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Letting go
I don’t know
What it feels like
My feelings I want to release in open mic
Some many feelings bottled up
I have a feeling
In order to let go
My silence I need to break
I need to release all my aches
I won’t flake anymore
I get my pen and my journal, and I sit by the lake
There I sit and I write about all my heartbreaks and all the snakes
I write about the times I haven’t been awake, in a dark state
All the birthday wishes and the birthday cakes
Letting go of all the memories
They’re all I know, but not ones I enjoy
Barely brought me any joy, they would always seem to destroy
Letting go
I don’t know what it feels like
It’s so unlike me to let things go
but my memories dislike me
and they keep striking me
I need to stop them from ripping me and let them go

Paradise

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Peace, serenity

looking out for the enemy

those who can’t agree to disagree

because to them they’re always right

if you don’t agree, they are putting up a fight

like we don’t have freedom of speech

my thoughts differ from yours

my sanity I’m trying to preserve

but sometimes I witness dark discoveries

I struggle to find beauty

I’m drowning in pain

so, I’ve created an illusion

looking for a sacred conclusion

I’m reading vibrations

not everyone wants to go to paradise

but that’s a personal choice

it’s not your choice to make

if you want to go

don’t try to convince others to go

make sure you are eligible to go

Soulful

I appreciate your ancient soul

you’re so soulful

you make me feel so joyful and hopeful

two feelings I thought I would never experience

I admire whoever brought you into existence

I’m so serious about this experience

when I see you, I don’t know how to act

so I act delirious

your eyes are so mysterious

your vibe is an art of brilliance

Catastrophe

look-to-the-stars.pngShe was never in that much pain
but she catastrophized her symptoms to make him stay
she made him think she would feel betrayed
she got tired of being slayed
she decided she would become the slayer
the roles switched and now she was the player
his time she wanted to waste
his actions she wanted to copy and paste
so he could feel
what it feels
the real tears
the feeling of not knowing how to deal
how long it takes to heal
the feeling is so unreal
it can have you missing meals
he used to call her dramatic
what a tragic
instead of making love to her, he made her panic
it was never climatic
never fantastic
never no magic
her feelings to him were always a catastrophe
and now he’s in a lonely phase
now he sits in agony

Terror

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You think your microscopic lies would hurt

I think you lie because it helps you cope

but you’ve been losing hope

I once thought you were dope

but you keep tightening your own rope

all you do is sit there and mope

you act up and blame it on your horoscope

delighted? more like I feel ignited

my peace is about to catch flames

you’re making all these silly claims

I don’t even feel the same

this is what we became

played too many games

living in your dreams felt like an error

I lived in terror

Cancelled Subscription

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Be careful who you trust

Anyone will throw you under the bus

They fucked with you before

But when they’re about to win, you become dust

Like you never even discussed

You were just cool

And now they’re feeling fussed

It don’t matter if it wasn’t your fault

They blame you by default

You can choose if you’ll let it faze you

Or you can kick it back and maybe blaze

I’m not chasing anybody

I can go days without the fake gazes

I’m not participating in any races

I’m my only competition

Tired or the personality repetitions

The petty addictions

Them acting suspicious

They’re mentally imprisoned

We need a viral revision

What the fuck is the vision

Where the fuck are the ambitions

How the fuck do I cancel my subscription

Monsters

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I’m sorry you sometimes pay because of my triggers

I’m really trying to go days without feeling bitter

I swear you make my days feel sweeter

When I flip, it’s because of past slips

You give me the best mind trips

But I still have monsters in my closets

When I see you, I get nervous

So I put my hands in my pockets

I enjoy your energy deposits

I feel flawless around you

But once you leave, they still haunt me

I breathe and count to three

In hoping when I open my eyes they are no longer there

Sometimes they vanish

Sometimes they stick around

They make me feel drowned

Sometimes they leave a deep wound

Moments like these I need you around

Surrounded by your beautiful energy

I just saw you yesterday and miss you already

I can’t explain it

I stare at your eyes and I feel divine

But when you leave, I still stay and fight

And I’m left to cry with these ugly monsters

Please stay to sponsor my energy

Come share some of your energy

Come and change the script of this documentary

Equilibrium

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Damaged influences

composed the unknown

a magnetic force

anesthetic power

waiting for superpowers

some waiting for flowers

others climbing the top of the tower

vital prodigies

and imperceptibly anxious souls

requirements to equilibrium

some have null conscience

others have lines they’ve drawn

some are still servants to themselves

Spell

You can hurt me

tell me lies

you can bruise me

but you can never hate me

there’s no reason

I treated you right every season

I tamed all your demons

you think I triggered them

truth is I controlled them

once I was gone

they grew

do you not see

I planted your seeds

your focus was elsewhere so you didn’t see

I built it

you killed it

you blamed me, always trying to frame me

but we both know without me

your flames are shame

I tried to help you

you withheld

but somehow never forgot how to yell

you thought you had me under some sort of spell

but little did you know I was the fucking spell

Hallucinations

Translucent hallucinations

this feels better than reality

she recognizes herself

but she prefers her animated self

in a perfect world where there is no pain, she feels no hurt

her heart feels no cold

in the real time she is slowly intoxicating herself

in her dream world she gets an increase of soul

no roughness

just sweet affirmations

no sad scenes

just sweet passion

when she opens her eyes

she feels betrayed by her sight

murdered hallucinations