Roles

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The butterflies spread the lies all over my body

it’s real, I feel it in my bones

my neck is stiff, the tendency of holding tension

you’re stressing me

messing with my mind

your performance at lying is terrible

you bring me flowers one day

and the next day you become violent waves

no way I’m sticking around

to watch the ending of this show

you’re a drunken practitioner

instead of healing my heart

you’re killing it

it’s obvious you were the lead role

but I was the one carrying all the heavy roles

Conscious

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Sometimes my conscious is awake

and I find a way to make peace with myself

but the silence keeps creeping in

it’s not something I’m used to

but sometimes something I enjoy

various questions arise

sometimes they leave me surprised

I don’t always necessarily pay attention to the crimes my thoughts are committing

to my state of mind

they are inflicting pain

they are causing harm to my daily patterns, my daily living

it makes me question my internal knowledge

I want my soul to stay clean eternal

I keep writing random words in my journal

but in the back of my mind the words that should have cleared are still floating internal

my sleep patterns are so messed up I’ve become nocturnal

but my instincts still manage to stay maternal

if I don’t find peace within myself, I’ll get killed by the external

Executed

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Again executed

assassinated by his words

the truth can explain how he would frame her

the summary is an amusement

a product of a masterpiece which soon became accidents

strictly reproducing the unknown

the design of a woman

but with a soul quick to be exposed, disposed

this artificial look of kindness

it was an act

these visitation of the awakened

indeed, a guide to analyze a point

that without expected changes

without the attentiveness and humanity

she must not lend her precious time

shared out of loneliness

attracting passing fools

she thought she planned out everything thoughtfully

but somehow remained hidden in darkness

despite her disturbing love to loneliness

all her thoughts slowly started becoming into nothingness

rebellious and deprived

her scars and experiences embodied her

Drill

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Give me your pain

I’ll carry the extra weight

Let me make you feel light during the rain

My train of thoughts are dedicated to you

Please don’t mute me

Don’t shut me down

I’m trying to eliminate your frown

You’re acting like a tough crowd

I want to help you

But you keep shutting me down

I’m trying to stick around

Your crown is falling down

I feel like a clown

And i’m about to leave town

I sit there in my gown

Trying to figure out the nouns coming out of your mouth

Popping pills

Like it’s part of a drill

I’m trying to fill the emptiness within you

While you’re trying to kill the passion within me

In between sheets

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I’ve been feeling so attacked lately

All the time

In defense mode

I’m feeling secluded

It bugs me out

Sometimes I want to shout

Is it ever that serious

Why is everyone so mysterious about their emotions

We’re running away from romantic notion

Waiting around for some sort of promotion

I need a self-promotion

I keep tripping over my own feet

I beat myself up

My emotions arise

And they’re not always sweet

Sometimes I tweet my emotions

Sometimes I go out in the streets

To try to delete some memories

Release some energy

Trying not to lose my heartbeat

Tired of hiding in between

my sheets

Worth

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The way you lie

You make me believe it

The way you trick my mind

It makes it hard to pick a side

I no longer can hide my tears

Trying to slide out of this mess

It’s causing me too much stress 

I feel so defeated

The way you cheated

My pupils are dilated

Tired of crying over you

I choose my worth over you

Treat me like I’m not worth a penny

And then you see me doing better

Getting money in my twenties 

And now I feel your envy

I would’ve treated you gently

But now I don’t need you

I got plenty

I have many treats

Many sweets

I’m a sweet chick

Always on her feet

I don’t need no one to make me feel complete

I handle the heat

My mind is super concrete

Motivation on repeat

I’m going to beat it

Never leave it incomplete

I keep on grinding until it’s complete

Identity Hassle

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Self love

I’m losing the battle

Who is this person I’ve encountered

An identity hassle

A soul so familiar yet a stranger

So distant yet so close

My votes aren’t always valid

Because sometimes I go ghost

Sometimes I’ll host my own show

Sometimes I’ll hide in the shadows

Free

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I’m tired of pretending
I’m tired of pleasing
My thoughts are bout to start releasing
Out of this chaotic mind
Not even being dramatic is making me blind
Do you know how long I’ve been trying to unmask
It’s a tough task
And it always makes me feel like i’m under attack
All this time I been fearing the wrong enemy
All this time I didn’t know I was the enemy
Can you imagine what it’s like
To be your own fear
How could that not be seen
It’s out of hand to a certain degree
It’s a matter of how free you want to be

Love Another

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She cheated

You still hit it

I was faithful

And you were ungrateful

She didn’t love you

she used you

Played you like a fool

And you still played it cool

But the girl that fed you

While she dreads you

The girl who loved you

While she shoved you away

The girl who locked her dreams away

To cater to you

To care for you

I was there, it’s not fair

I was trying to repair

And you were having affairs

I got to see you loving another woman

Now you get to see her loving another man

Fall

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Poetry is my therapy

I wouldn’t know what to say

I feel a type of way

But I drink a potion instead

To try to get out of my head

I’m trying to move ahead

Something keeps holding me back

And I feel the slack

My soul turning completely black

How do I reverse it

Maybe I deserve it

I observed it

I’ve confirmed it

But I don’t prefer it

Some days I’m with it

Some days it hits me hard

Some days I quit it

So quick to drop it all

That’s why there’s always a fall