How many times?

 

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How many times did you fail to love me?

You played me and you lied 

But at the end you never did anything wrong

How many times did I believe you?

Knowing you was doing me wrong

I cried and cried

and at the end I still went back

Now it’s all done, I’m tired of your games

And now I ask myself

How many times have you called begging for me to come back?

You begged and begged

And at the end I told you it was too late.

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Way better on my own

Because of you I didn’t know happy
I didn’t know fun and I didn’t know me

Because of you I couldn’t smile nor laugh
But because of you I also realized that,

All those things I couldn’t do were better
than all the things you put me through

All the pain you put me through
all the tears that you withdrew
awakened my soul, they opened my eyes

Now I can smile, now I can laugh
at how stupid I was for crying for you
at how stupid I was for letting you get to me

Now I know happy
now I can eat, now I  can rest

Maybe with time you’ll realize that,
Because of me you was once happy

Because of me you laughed and smiled
I never made you cry & I never made you sad

But now you are miserable because i’m not in your life
But you should of realized it before

Before you hurt me so bad
don’t call me nor text me

because now i’m not with you and thank you for that
Happier than ever, with my biggest smile ever
Thank you for teaching me that I can do better

Drowning

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You’re quick to judge but slow to act
Quick to fall and slow to stand
Quick to nag but you fail to listen
Because it’s all about you and not about others
You have High expectations but you lack in believing
You don’t believe in yourself and expect others to do so
You criticize others but don’t correct yourself
You’re thinking you’re winning but everyone is above you
Because while you think you’re bringing them down

you only brought yourself down
You went to deep to swim and you caught yourself drowning

The angrier we become, the more of a monster we become
All because we cannot control our emotions & we won’t break free from our habits
Is it because we fear whom we’ll become?
We should feel terrified of who we are now
But it all seems so real, it’s kind of natural
Because that’s all we know,
that’s who we are but simply because that’s who we choose to be
When we learn how to control ourselves
The hate, the envy, the sadness, the anger
We will master ourselves
We will unleash our highest potential
But we will never reach it
until we understand
That it is a spiritual and a mental fight,
not a physical fight against anybody else,
The fight is with ourselves every single day
We choose if we are going to better ourselves
or destroy ourselves
understand that we have the power to do both

That bitch Mary Jane

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The only bitch he’ll ever love is Mary Jane
she has a green soul
he rolls her up making her feel at home
she got brown skin
very thin, very long
she got white hair flowing like smoke from a chimney
he puts his lips on her without a shame
and then he pulls like it’s his last breath
with his finger on her waist
he inhales her soul
then exhales her thoughts
feeling nice, feeling like she did a great job
he gave her head making it his third pull
she even makes sex feel at it’s best
every time he pulls and exhales he goes deeper into her skin
she is shrinking in his thoughts & her flames are falling off
she is half way ash, half way done
he passes her to the next dude
she gets reused by too many dudes
they all touch her and smoke her and use her until she is long gone
and when she is done, it’s time for round two
same procedures same pulls same feelings
she is gone again but they always look for her again
she plays games and plays with their mind
when they with her they feel high
but even with the damage that she does,
the way she takes them to another world,
she will always be the only bitch they’ll ever love
because that’s that bitch Mary Jane

Loves too hard

She lost herself

downgraded herself

embarrassed herself

destroyed herself

all because she loved too hard

she loved him so much

that she forgot about herself

it’s not his fault

it’s not hers either

she never loved like that before

but she may have went a little too far

she loved too hard

she loved too much

she loved so much that she had no room to love herself

she loves to love, but loves too much

the love controls her

the love weakens her

brings out the ugly in her

all because she loves too much

one minute it’s heaven, one minute it’s hell

the overthinking plays a big role

the overthinking ruins her love

she is suffocating him with her love

she is pushing him away from that love

all because she doesn’t know how to love

PICK YOUR SIDE

I’m scared because

So much darkness

Clouds my space

It’s usually something I can control

But this time it won’t go away

I don’t know what it is

All I know is there’s so much darkness

But I am stronger than it, whatever it is

My good side will always overpower my bad side

My good side will never be completely blinded by my dark side

But I do feel it

Pulling me away

Blinding my sight light little by little

I’m trying to run away

But isn’t that what I always do?

I’m tired of it

This time i’ll stay to fight it

Whatever it is

There is so much darkness clouding my space

Whatever it is

I’ll kill it with light

I’ll kill it with vision

I’ll kill it with passion

I won’t lie

Sometimes I want to give in

Maybe let it take control

But i’ll lose myself

I’ll lose my soul

That’s the price you pay

I won’t give in

Sometimes it’s a desire

But I have learned to love myself

Become aware of myself

Become one with myself

With the world

With the vibe

Fighting these demons

Vibing with angels

The demons give me a rush

But the angels bring me to sanity