Not Giving In

Such a negative vibe

It sopped by and looked at me straight in the eyes

A feeling of fear and I no longer felt wise

I’ll lose myself if I don’t fight, trapped in fright

I fight it with all my might

I must find the light

Such a negative vibe

It faced me and it wasn’t afraid

Face to face as I smiled, and I prayed

It thinks it is stronger, it thinks I’ll lose

But that’s not how I was made

It wants to enter and cause mental abuse

Such a negative vibe

But I’m not giving in

Losing is not really my type

Underestimate me

I’ll gravitate to a higher state

Dark energy will never decide my fate!

For Nothing

Feed my soul’s curiosity 

Tell me…

Honestly, I need to know

Did I give you my love for nothing?

I sit in a corner pouting

I won’t lie, I’m hurting

All that trusting

And for what? For nothing

All this time I thought you felt something

I did not receive not even an apology

Looking for answers everywhere

Even turned to astrology

Did I call you mine for nothing?

All that blushing for nothing

I try to smile but I feel the tears coming

Feed my soul’s curiosity

Tell me…

All those times we were touching

All those times we were hugging

I try to smile but I feel my tears coming

Genuine Love

As soon as we met, I recognized your beautiful vibe

We barely exchanged words, yet I felt every single word

Something about you seems genuine

You might be the remedy I’ve been searching for

You stare at my eyes and you smile

Somehow I know there is no evil within you when I stare at your eyes

You promised you would love me and I believe you

My heart can no longer take pain, my eyes can no longer cry tears…

Please don’t hurt me

You get close and whisper sweet things in my ears

So far, I love what I’m hearing

I’m not asking you to fix me, I still meditate as I heal

I’m asking you to love me with all my defects

Sit with me and reflect why this feels so correct 

Don’t promise you’ll love me, if you will neglect

Scattering Thoughts

Scattering thoughts 

Can’t find the right words 

I sit quietly by my window and listen to the birds

Close my eyes as I say a prayer to the Lords

My cup is full of herbs

Scattering thoughts 

My words are in knots

Can’t get the messages across

My mind is full of stained spots

Scattering thoughts 

I sit in lotus

My mind in hypnosis

I sit until I find a motive

I am focused 

The pain will never go unnoticed

Imaginary Love

Unwanted illusions 

Unrealistic conclusions

Causing so much confusion

My love for you has always been an amusement

You promised you’d love me, but you never proved it

I focus on your energy’s vibration

It only aligns with mine on certain occasions

I tell you to show me you love me, and you show me nothing but frustration

I don’t remember us having genuine conversations

This love only exists in my imagination

Wishful thinking

Alone I sit drinking

I watch my thoughts slowly sinking

As my love for you starts shrinking

Drowning

Slipping, sipping, flipping out

Sitting, weeping, almost quitting

At that moment it felt like I was never winning

Admitting to my pain, committing to heal

Transmitting bad energy to those who didn’t deserve it

Chilling, willing, forbidding bad energy to enter my system

Splitting my good energy from my bad energy, the bad energy was so thrilling

My thoughts spinning, as I was missing my peace of mind

Digging deep into my thoughts to find happiness

Tricking my body so it thinks I’m alright

My pain triggering bad thoughts

Almost drowning, swimming until I feel like I’m completely living

Fix me

Hold my hands, I’ve been hurt

With you I try to flirt

But it just brings up past experiences, just a whole bunch of dirt

It makes me think about all the times they tried to get under my skirt

But that’s not the worst part, my patience is running short

All I ever wanted was love, but all they did was play with my heart

And even like that I never gave up, torn but hoping for a new start

Love me entirely, part by part, admire my beauty like fine art

Hold my hands, I need your support

I’m an introvert, because I always get hurt…

They promise to love me and then fall short

I’m counting on you as my last resort

Bad Habit

You’re a bad habit that I would love to consume

You’re no good for me, I assume

I want to get away, but you refuse

Your plan is to seduce

My mind is at battle with my heart, I’m so confused

You’re a bad habit that I would love to consume

I might get used, you might leave me in solitude, but I still execute

These feelings I want to remove, I try and they just renew

To your bad habits I am immune, I’m hurt and you’re amused

I want to love you, but you only love me in the bedroom

SELFISHNESS

Short-sighted, but still frightened

To stick together or start a riot

We all pretend to get along, in chaos we become divided

No love provided, the interest is one-sided

The balance lopsided

What happened to sticking together and being united?

The feelings are uninvited, unexcited

Fighting together we would’ve made it further, guided

But how can we make it ahead with most people feeling spiteful?

Transition

I panic, the energy feels satanic

It freezes up the magic

I want to gravitate mentally to a different planet

Hide in the woods in a cabin, until it’s gone, until I can manage

Until it is vanished, so much static in my mind, anxiety heightens automatic

Stuck in tragic, so much mental traffic, reliving all bad habits

I close my eyes and I breathe

I start to feel the energy growing within

I Meditate, let the bad energy disappear

Meditate on all my fears

I change my mind to change my atmosphere

I wipe my tears, as my mind clears