Sick Coping Mechanism

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Sick coping mechanisms

Moping, because I sometimes can’t properly cope

I’m broken, but I’m also glowing

Soaking in tears but zoning in peace

Smoking my thoughts then throwing tantrums

Moaning, choking, floating

So many sick coping mechanisms

But it’s better than exploding

I’m loading my positivity

I’m voting and hoping that this time it stays

My tears are provoking me to stay in darkness

But I start smiling even if I’m just posing

When I stop joking, I’ll start growing

Reflection before Infection

Reflection before infection.png

My mind is brightened

And then it gets darkened by an invasion

All these random thoughts came without an invitation, they called themselves depression

They begin to move my energy in a different direction

Completely ignoring my suggestions

Then it begins to enjoy the rejections, all the aggression

I start obsessing on my imperfections

Completely ignoring my precious connection to my state of mind to Heaven

What once was special it’s now a deception

My mind is in a deep detention concentration

It’s a challenge to hunt for the corrections

It takes a huge amount of attention on reflection

You must put your faith in your protection

You must make corrections and travel to the next dimension

Before it becomes a weapon and spreads like an infection

Not yet forgiven


They say even though you hurt me

I must forgive you

I won’t be able to move on until all is forgiven

I try to erase some memories and I get hit with a wave of vivid visions, I get livid

My mind I try to calm, but it becomes stiffened, thickened with unpleasant memories

This is what you do to me because you never listened

In addition, you murdered my ambitions, I was once so driven

But you had me imprisoned

I wanted an admission in love

You wanted other women involved

This is not what I envisioned

I don’t need to ask you for permission, I’m in a messed up position

Now I’m supposed to forgive you like magic, I’m not a magician

One magic trick and it’s all forgiven

It’s not that easy

This is a lot of repairing, I’m not a technician

There is a lot of debating, I’m not a politician

I’ve removed you from life, you’re an excision

As to when I’ll forgive you, that date is unwritten

Bittersweet Moments


Bittersweet moments

Sweet moaning

Feelings growing

Never playing games, never cheat

The way you treat me, it’s so sweet

The proof is very concrete

Bitter sweet moments

The moment is flowing

We’ve spoken, we’re zoning

Smoking, focused

Was tired of feeling broken, stolen

Hoping, your sweet moments never go unnoticed

Bittersweet moments

A poet, outspoken

Your sweet moments in my mind are frozen

Open, rolling, hoping this an enjoyment

My Own Nightmare

My Own Nightmare
Last night I had a nightmare

Forbidden memories pressed me
Poisoning reality
Bringing up experiences I have erased
I was trying to wake up
But I was in a mental lock up
I kept reliving my anxieties, Making myself prisoner
Poor mind, Magnetic negative waves
Thoughts of horror
The only sense I felt was fear
I prayed the end wasn’t near
Looking for a sweeter proposal
A drunken voice called my name
A shade of dark mimicked my actions
I was captured and I was looking for my savior
I was punished and not by the creator
I thought this wouldn’t happen if I stayed awake
But it was no demon doing damage
It was me
I thought I was stuck in a cycle
But I was my own nightmare

Subliminal Messages


You’re no longer putting in the effort

It’s not the same anymore, it was better

You say you still love me but show up with all your subliminal messages

You say we’re connecting spiritually and mentally, we both know this is only physical

You look at me and smile but the vibes you’re sending out almost feel cynical

It’s subliminal but not invisible

It’s almost hypocritical

You say one thing, you do the opposite, so typical

You say you still love me but hit me with subliminal messages

Paint me an illusion and it’s supposed to be impressive

You sit there in silence while you’re planning how to be aggressive

Passive aggressive

Massive depressive

Attractive but obsessive

You think you can lie because I won’t catch your subliminal messages

But I’m wide awake

I’m catching all your messages

Authentic Epidemic


Pathogenic vibe, you’re like a disease

So much pain you carved in my heart

I patched it up, but I sometimes feel the pain

You tried to eat me internal, hurt me and tell me it was all in my head

I knew the problem wasn’t me, it was energetic

I was always skeptic of your eccentric personality, maybe it’s genetic

Unfortunately, your energy is magnetic

It’s unfortunate because it’s domestic

You were never authentic

You insulted my academic because you felt pathetic, synthetic

You thought you were majestic

You thought you could shut me, but I am poetic

I am releasing myself from your chains

Physically, mentally and spiritually

I’m not catching your epidemic

Horns & Halo


I have both Horns and Halo

But they completely ignore the Halo

I don’t feel like explaining, they’ll judge anyway

My soul is mellow but according to their assumptions I’m a volcano

They say they know me, I’m not sure how

I stay low, I’ve had my glow, but why do they need to know?

Whatever they think I am, I’m pretty sure I’m the opposite

But I won’t argue it nor let it affect me

While they’re acting suspiciously, I am reading reality

Making sure I’m always genuine in soul and I’m increasing my mentality

They’ll keep making their own scenarios and I’ll keep balancing my horns and my halo




*this pic is a pic of my tattoo 😀 *

Different Bridge Zones


You left me in a love bankruptcy

I’m left to cross the bridge alone

I thought you were the perfect fit

And then you switched, you began to twitch

I thought this was real but you were just a glitch

You loved me in silence, yelled in high pitch

I guess I’m left to cross the bridge alone

My mind you’ve blown, you set an unknown tone

You whispered you loved me but it was never shown

We were in the same place but never in the same zone

Rotating Backwards


I’ve been trying to move ahead

But my vibe was rotating backwards

I was trying to be the master

But my thoughts were the attackers

They held on to negativity like wrappers

It soon became a hazard

I need to move ahead, not backwards

I need to be my own master, and not a slacker

There are a few inward factors that controlled my mind like a hacker

Away from all the disasters, remaining upwards

I’m moving ahead, creating new chapters