Sometimes my conscious is awake

and I find a way to make peace with myself

but the silence keeps creeping in

it’s not something I’m used to

but sometimes something I enjoy

various questions arise

sometimes they leave me surprised

I don’t always necessarily pay attention to the crimes my thoughts are committing

to my state of mind

they are inflicting pain

they are causing harm to my daily patterns, my daily living

it makes me question my internal knowledge

I want my soul to stay clean eternal

I keep writing random words in my journal

but in the back of my mind the words that should have cleared are still floating internal

my sleep patterns are so messed up I’ve become nocturnal

but my instincts still manage to stay maternal

if I don’t find peace within myself, I’ll get killed by the external