Exposed (Explicit)

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You think i’m just some random chick

That I’m only interested in sending you pics

You must have the wrong one

If you for a second think I’m a hoe

Like I just randomly be offering blows

Believe me when I tell you I keep my legs closed

You just want me to be naked and pose, exposed

You want me to put my hair in a bun and have fun

Trying to call me a hun and then tell me we’re done

You must be a bum

Because you think that I’m dumb

Wants me to come, asks for my income

Offers me rum and some gum

Tells me my booty is plumb and he wants to know where I’m from

Then you start asking for some

You’re a scum

Sick games

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Tired of these sick games 

I’m the only one to blame 

My soul is going up in flames

And I so feel ashamed

Maybe this time I wont miss

Tired of clutching up my fists

I sit here and I finally admit

Sometimes I don’t know what I’m about to commit

Sometimes I want to quit, split

But I don’t submit

I’m not that unfit

Yet, wet, upset, forget

Sometimes I’m my own threat, my own sweat, my own regret

Accept, I’m not done yet

Sometimes I neglect 

Other times I perfect

Either way it affects

My mind & my checks

I have to watch my steps

Have to make sure I always keep my flex

No contacts with the ex, sex, obsessed 

Sometimes it’s a mess

I need to distress maybe by the sunset

Undressed, success

I’ll confess no one is ever going to make me feel stressed, less

Am I shifting from humanity

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I’ve been through things
Trying to cut all these strings
I’ve witnessed, I’ve observed
I’ve served and I’ve curved
I’ve felt pain
I’ve felt the drain
I’ve seen light, I’ve seen dark
I have the mark
I’ve lost sense of what truly matters
Now I appreciate what really matters
Do you get it?
When you say you get it, do you really get it?
You kind of have to live through it, to understand it
Things don’t always happen as you plan it
The Mind tricks
The sick cliques
The Guilt Trips
The sealed lips
The fake scripts
Encrypt messages 
To overcome
The shit one goes through
One must forget,
It’s crucial for ones sanity
It’s crucial for inner peace
This makes no sense
I think I’m going over the fence
These feelings are so dense, intense
Am I going insane?
Was I ever sane?
Where is my sanity
Am I shifting from humanity

Do I let you in

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Do I let you in?
Do I leave you out?
Do I risk it all?
Because I’m feeling you
But this won’t be the first time I risk it
Nor the second nor the third
I’m paying attention to your words
Trying to make sure they’re words I’ve never heard
Do you move different?
Do you think different?
Is this really you?
Or is it all an act?
That switch up game
It won’t be the fourth nor the fifth
I’m tired of falling for all these myths
It won’t be the sixth nor the seventh
Mr. smith says he loves me
But he doesn’t know how to show it
Tired of being with it
I’m trying to keep my faith
But this is not the eighth nor the ninth
That I try to hold on because I think it’s real
I want to feel
For the tenth time I have the strength 
And for the eleventh time I’m asking you
Do I let you in?
Do I risk it all?

Can’t trust no one to be my baby

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I’m strong but that doesn’t mean I don’t feel pain
I get through it but that doesn’t mean I don’t struggle
It’s a constant battle in my mind
Do I try to fit in
Do I even care
Somehow I just keep going
There’s a small hesitation but I still keep going
Trying to avoid most of the population
I keep on going
Because this is not it
This can’t be it
I keep hesitating
Trying to keep meditating
Hoping I can soon start elevating
This can’t be it
No doubt
This ain’t it
But somehow, I sometimes ignore it
I need to transform it
Explore it
Become it
I don’t want to become them
I don’t want anything from them
Everyone is always on the run
All I want is some love
But sometimes I feel so numb
Sometimes I feel so dumb
I don’t ask for much
Just for a simple touch
A simple kiss
One I’ll miss
Call you maybe
Love you maybe
Can’t trust no one to be my baby

& I stand there

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& I stand there asking myself for another chance

Asking myself to hold on to myself

To not let go of myself

To love myself

Be there for myself

But here I am doubting myself

Crying myself to sleep

Trying to be a hero

But no one is here to save me

When I fall

I can feel myself catch myself

But sometimes my hands are so bruised from catching others

That I don’t have strength to catch myself

So, I fall, and I fall hard

I fall deep, but I always stand

& I stand there asking myself

To be my own hero

To love myself

Hold on to myself

Do it for myself

By myself

For everyone else

But also, for myself

& I stand there asking myself for another chance

Asking myself to hold on to myself

To not let go of myself

To love myself

If we don’t let go

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Sometimes people hurt us

And we don’t understand it

Because we thought they loved us

But that’s not what they showed us

Sometimes it’s hard to forgive them

but it’ll stay in our minds

it’ll stay in our hearts

it’ll become a memory

we’ll carry it in our souls

if we don’t let go

From friends to strangers

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We start talking and we vibe
then suddenly
We become inseparable 
We see each other often
& you start calling me baby
Every morning send me a message
And every night you call me before you go to sleep
Then one day
It stops
The morning messages
Become afternoon messages
The calls become a quick “I was busy” text message
Was it something I said?
Or something I did?
Maybe it has nothing to do with me
Maybe someone came back?
Maybe you’re still hurt
Or maybe we’re not meant to be
Do I let you go because I know I deserve better?
But this is getting old
I’m getting bored
The same questions being asked again
The same guessing games again
The same butterflies who slowly die
Who then leave you with an emptiness
An emptiness that I should of never felt
Now I blame myself
For allowing this
I can’t even blame you for hurting me
Because every time I let my guard down
It’s the same outcome
It’s the same feeling
It’s the same pain
If I stop, how will I ever find what I deserve?
If I stop, i’ll settle
It’s not about the needing
It’s about the wanting
It’s about wanting to vibe out
Wanting to make love
Wanting to grow together
But y’all be on another level