Occupied Mind

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My mind is occupied

I try to relive some memories, but they slowly die

My breath is tied because my mind is not currently wide

I’ve tried, I’ve cried

I’ve experienced both sides

Sometimes I ride, sometimes I slide, sometimes I dive, it doesn’t matter how I get there if my memories are fried

Sometimes I confront it, other times I must hide

I take pride in saying I don’t need to lie to get what I want

Some days I am satisfied of how far I’ve come, other days I am terrified

Glorified, qualified

So many different sides

It’s not about picking a side, I must put the differences aside because all those sides make me who I am

But I’ll excel when my mind and my soul synchronize

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Renewed Ending

Renewed Ending

I’ve tried to forget you, but I can’t get you of my head
I thought the memories of you were ending
But they’re still present and alive
It’s been my weakest design
I’m staying up late at night praying for signs
I’ve been thinking so much about you it’s getting out of line
I thought I would be fine
I thought this was the ending
My thoughts of forgetting you, my mind has declined
If I can’t forget you on my own, I’ll need the assistance of wine
Get intoxicated, I try to breathe and feel suffocated
I think of you and I feel devastated
I thought this was the ending of my thoughts of you
But instead it grew, I try to erase them, and they renewed

Destroying Comfort Zone

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Unbearable pain

Enormous reproach

Negative movements approached

I’m trying to maintain

I’m processing all the chaos in my brain

Counting the loses and the gains

Do I keep going or do I give up?

I keep climbing and falling

Sometimes the air is so toxic I can hardly breathe, other times it’s so calming

Tell me you love me, but you fail to please me

I just wanted you to release me

Sometimes I want to take action, but my mind disagrees

It makes a pact with my body and it doesn’t move

I want to be better, but my mind doesn’t approve

And that’s when the battle begins

It’s fighting for comfort

It’s fighting for what it already knows

It wants to hold on to what it’s used to

But I’m trying to move out that comfort zone

I want change

I’m fighting for overall success

I get my mind high and it gets distracted

I go into space and my thoughts surprise me

I approach it timidly and I reached an epiphany

Choice

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Elegant and suspicious

Rebellious and unable to distinguish reality from dreams

Living in different themes

She supported her own intelligence so much, she ignored suggestions

Her explanations were always sustainable

She was strong but was mechanically giving in to the world around her

She doesn’t fear being alone

She remained persistent in loving herself

Purely organic spiritualism

She wants to be involved in some extraordinary activities

But keeps running into mischievous acts

So she removes herself from all the noise

She hides and silences her voice

It feels like she has no choice

Bitter Design

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Reverse, take two steps back and redefine what you just said

Just like that you crushed my vision

For a second I almost thought you were too fine

But you opened your mouth and you crossed the line

Please, please redefine what you just said

So you can excite my soul once again even if it’s just for a second

Because I was just about to call you divine

Almost asked you to be mine

But you opened your mouth and you crossed the line

You keep hitting me with all these signs

The ones I chose to decline

Again and again your actions and your words I’ve combined

I understand the bitter design 

If I was a kid again

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If I was a kid again

I would tell you to treat her different

I don’t like the way you treated her

I advised her to leave you every day

Told her not to worry about me

I was a child back then

But anyone knew, it was easy to see

 

The way you were treating her

I felt like you were beating her

But you weren’t even touching her

Your words were power to her

But always powerless to me

You didn’t tell her you loved her

Never brought her flowers

Rare occasions did I see you speak to her

 

If I was a kid again I would advise you to treat her better

Even though I just wanted you to leave her

So I wouldn’t see her hurt anymore

Over and over I advised her to leave you

But she loved you

She told everyone she was with you because of me

But every night I would tell her she deserved better

And that wasn’t you

I was good, I always knew

She never was and it’s your fault

 

If I was a kid again I would tell you to treat her better

I now pay for the damage you created

The same way you treated her, she now treats me

Rarely do I see her smile

She says she doesn’t love you but I don’t believe her

If I was a kid again I would tell you to treat her better

And maybe she would be happy and be treating me better

And maybe I wouldn’t hate you

Silent Words

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Fear paralyzed me and I froze

I’m witnessing it and I can’t let go

We’re listening only to respond

We don’t want to set our focus on the words

So they flow into space, they flow into nothingness

We’re being told to hold back

But when you hold back you stay in the dark

Lack of exposing our expressions

Lack of expressing our emotions

It hurts my soul that people are hurting quietly

They’re stuck in a cycle of darkness and I can’t bring them light because they won’t express themselves

We are healers and we also need to be healed

It’s a connection that we share

But we are pulling away from each other because we’re encouraging each other to swallow our words

When we don’t release them, they shout in our bodies

Never Explicit

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I’m thinking about you every other minute

I might be crossing the limit

You tell me you’re here to stay but this is only a visit, I feel it in my spirit

Your thoughts are so confusing

Yet mine are so explicit

Your confusion inhibits my growth

You lied under oath

You promised many times it was under control

Told me to just go with the flow

What a joke

You didn’t know your limit

You promised this was more than a visit

Told me to trust you with my spirit

But your words were never explicit

Broken Photograph

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All that’s left is a torn photograph
Before I found all the discoveries
Where I was absorbing all our sacred memories and pain
Now anything barely remains
Again, I go over it and try to explain to my brain
Why so many ugly memories I retained
I look at the photograph and my mind goes insane
I tore the image to refrain myself from continuously staining myself with pain
A feeling which once was so intense now feels plain
I got tired of the complaining
I wasn’t maintaining, I wasn’t gaining
The memories were too much, I could no longer sustain it
Broken pieces, that’s all that’s remaining

Speak your mind

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I’m sick and tired of being misunderstood

You call me stubborn; I just know what I want, there’s a difference

You like to hold in, I speak my mind, it’s a matter of preference

You think I’m not nice because I speak my mind or maybe you call me emotional

The way you think, to me, it’s so irrational

I’m not sure what you think about your mind, but my thoughts are valuable

They can become either extremely tragical or extremely magical

That’s why my mind I won’t let you shut

I’m not saying that what I’m saying is the truth, I’m just saying I’ll always say the truth about how I feel

I’m not scared, it’s not a big deal, my thoughts and words you will never steal

I’ll keep expressing until I heal

I’m real, it’s so surreal how many people don’t appreciate realness

I’m not sure if it’s a weakness or an illness

I just know that when I speak my mind my tongue feels the sweetness