Do you


Do you know how many times I’ve tried to measure your words, measure your vibe to make sure they were authentic?
 
Do you know how hard it was to love you? I was always under pressure, the guilt kicked in from both sides
 
Do you know hard it was to sometimes please you? I always pleased you, but you always wanted more pleasure
 
Do you know how many times I’ve tried to keep us together? Always catered to you, even when you didn’t deserve it
 
Do you know how many times you promised you would love me forever?
Each time you kissed me, I felt it lesser and lesser
 
Do you know that all this time I tried to keep us together, my vibe was in terror, I was missing out on myself, on my own treasure

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Discombobulate

Discombobulate my thoughts so I can overwrite them
It’s better to do it late than never even starting
I think it’s working
I feel the old thoughts departing
Working hard, staying awake requires a lot but the end is rewarding
The tension sometimes grows at an alarming rate
But it’s always up to me to make myself feel great

Incarcerated


Been through so much I thought I was only destined to fail
I was stuck for so long because I didn’t debate it
My soul was waiting for instructions but my mind was chaotic
I was trying to set myself free but I was in a hypnotic state
 
Sometimes it was so toxic it almost felt demonic
Sometimes it hurt for so long, I thought it was chronic
So much pain, at times I laughed, it felt like a comic
I tried to wrap my head around it, but I couldn’t find the logic
I tried to bring it attention, but my thoughts would change the topic
 
Happiness was almost forgotten
My thoughts turned somewhat robotic
Was it psychotic? I miss those thoughts that were once exotic
Incarcerated while I waited to be set free
Incarcerated while I hated my thoughts
Suffering while I’m trying to connect the dots
I’m taking the shots, I’m on a mission to set myself free

Tonight

Tonight, kill me with passion
Tonight, I’ll let you mute my speech
Tonight, there is no doubting, there’s only strictly laughter
Go one night without neglecting my presence
Go one night without the uncleanliness of your true self
Tonight, pretend that you love me
Charm my soul tonight, even it’s just a front
Calm my mind tonight, even if it’s just with a ton of lies
Tonight, just for tonight, tell me you love me
I need a mental break
Just for one night, I need to feel alive

Under the moonlight

His glances are timid in the daytime
Acting suspicious like he committed a crime
His smile is barely a smile
Whispers in her ear that he loves her while he slowly distances himself from her
 
As the sun sets, he gets closer to her
He was distanced before, now he slowly approaches her
He is now moving in towards her in slow motion
Playing with her emotions
 
He loves her dearly, but isn’t ready to admit it to himself
He continues to love her in the shadows
They’ll keep dancing under the moonlight
Until he loves himself in pure light first
Until they’re ready to dance in the sunlight too


Fighting immortal thoughts

Immortal soul, trying to make it into the portal of life
I enter the wrong one, now I’m stuck in a cloud
Walking around a space crowded with thoughts
Some of these I can be proud of, but most of these I cannot allow
I introduce myself to each one and then they slowly get murdered
As I murder them slowly, I am getting further
The more corrupted the thought is, the stronger it is, the harder to kill, but I am determined
Some of these thoughts are immortal and they do not die, but if I cannot kill them, I must at least silence them
I keep fighting, I must find balance
Listening to them was a mistake, I followed their guidance and died a little each time
And as I’m here assassinating them, I’m smiling
Now I can enter the portal of life with a clear state of mind

Respect the surname

I was minding my business when you came
I was worried about myself when you came
When you came with no shame
Acting like I’m supposed to remember your name
But all I can think about is what you became
You showed your true colors, it’s the ending of your game
You hurt me, yet you are trying to give me the blame, it’s so lame
I stay in silent, you exclaim, but you have nothing to claim
You started war, never wanting to play a fair game
In trying to hurt me, you framed yourself
I bet you feel inflamed
But you started this, you tried to mess up my name
Now you will forever respect my surname